And now at the request of Jake "The Boss" Cook, another "Special Comment" about why it was about time the Philadelphia 76ers won a game, and why are they destined to get the top pick in the NBA Draft later this summer.
Last night in Philadelphia, the biggest disappointment in the NBA this season, the Philadelphia 76ers, finally won a game that should have cared less about, a 123-98 blowout win over the Detroit Pistons, and that win snapped a long, disastrous, yet humiliating 26-game losing streak. A 26-game losing streak? TO ME, THAT IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF B.S. I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AS A NBA FAN! YOU ARROGANT BUMS WASTED THE LAST 2 AND 1/2 MONTHS NOT GIVING A HOOT ABOUT WINNING, YOU ONLY CARED ABOUT LOSING OUT TO GET THAT COVETED TOP PICK IN THE NBA DRAFT LATER THIS SUMMER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! UN THE LAST THREE YEARS I HAVE DONE THESE SERIES OF "SPECIAL COMMENTS", WHICH WAS MODELED AFTER WHAT MY IDOL, KEITH OLBERMANN DID DURING HIS DAYS AT MSNBC AND THE NOW-DEFUNCT CURRENT TV, EACH ONE OF THEM HAS CENTERED AROUND ONE THING: GETTING PEOPLE TO FACE THE TRUTH, AND AS FOR YOU, PHILADELPHIA 76ERS, THE TRUTH I'M ADDRESSING TO YOU TODAY IS GOING TO HURT! IT'S TRUE, IT'S TRUE!
I checked the standings in the Eastern Conference not too long ago, and you guys are 16-57. 16-57? NO WONDER YOU GUYS ARE ONE OF THE TWO DISAPPOINTING TEAMS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN THE NBA, ALONG WITH THE ORLANDO MAGIC, MILWAUKEE BUCKS, HECK, YOU CAN ALSO THROW IN THE UTAH JAZZ AND LOS ANGELES LAKERS INTO THE LIST OF TEAMS THAT ARE VYING FOR THE DRAFT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
WHO IS RUNNING THIS MESS UP IN PHILADELPHIA? HECK, YOU GUYS MAY HAVE GONE ALL RUBEN AMARO, JR. AND HIRED A COACH WHO INSPIRED YOU TO LOSE A LOT OVER THE LAST 2 1/2 MONTHS YOU HAVEN'T WON A GAME UNTIL LAST NIGHT? WELL, BRETT BROWN, YOU MIGHT HAVE A CASE OF "MIKE DUNLAP SYNDROME" BECAUSE YOU SIR, MR. BROWN, HAVE NO BUSINESS OF BEING A FIRST-YEAR HEAD COACH WHO'S PLAYING TO GET AXED OUT OF A CITY THAT LOVES THEIR SPORTS, AND YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM GOT RID OF DESEAN JACKSON, HECK YOUR PHILLIES MIGHT STINK UP THE JOINT AND FAIL AGAIN, BUT YOUR BASKETBALL TEAM MAN, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BIG, MISERABLE, IGNORANT BUNCH OF LOSERS WHO DION'T EVEN CARE ABOUT WINNING A GAME AND ARE NOW "TANKING FOR WIGGINS" GIVE. ME. A . FREAKING. BREAK!
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DONE, PHILADELPHIA 76ERS, YOU HAVE NOW BECOME THE WORST TEAM I HAVE EVER SEEN IN THE NBA THIS SEASON, AND I GUARANTEE A SO-CALLED "FIRE SALE" WILL BE COMING SOONER OR LATER ONCE YOUR SEAON OF FAILURE WRAPS UP, AND IF I WAS A 76ERS FAN, THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO IS FIRING YOUR COACH THAT HAS GOTTEN YOU INTO THIS BIG DEPACLE IN THE FIRST PLACE SINCE YOUR ORGANIZATION HASN'T RECAPUTRED THE GLORY YEARS SINCE THE DAYS OF ALLEN IVERSON AND ANDRE IGUODALA!
To wrap up this latest "Special Comment", I am so glad you finally won a game snapping the 26-game losing streak, and I'm not happy about what your organization, the Philadelphia 76ers have done this season, so what I insist YOU do is this: CAR. ABOUT. WINNING. GAMES. OR. ELSE! GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK!